NAN SANDERS POKERWINSKI
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HeartWood
A blog about cultivating
creativity, connection and contentment
wherever you are

It’s My Party, and I’ll Blog If I Want To

2/20/2019

40 Comments

 
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​Today is my birthday! I was going to be all low-key about it—just let it slide by without a mention. But when I noticed it would fall on a blog-posting day, I couldn’t resist sharing some birthday thoughts with you. 

​Besides, this one’s a biggie: 70. Just typing that number makes my jaw drop. Me?? 70?? With the dicey health history I had from age 17 on, there were times I doubted I’d ever see this many candles on my cake. Yet as the years piled up, I allowed myself to hope—and then believe—I just might.
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​When I did envision myself at 70, I imagined I’d be living a slowed-down, reflective life, sifting through mementos and old photo albums, processing the past, while practicing meditation and yoga to keep me grounded in the present. What I didn’t imagine was that I’d be so involved in new projects and interests and so jazzed about what’s still ahead.

PictureMy friend Sandra Bernard recently published this book of poetry and prose and now is working on a new children's book
​It helps that we live in a community of energetic, engaged people around my age and older who are doing interesting things: playing and recording music, making art, writing and illustrating books, tending gardens, devoting time and talents to worthy causes. (By the way, if you missed my post on Bea Cordle, an inspiration to us all at 90+, be sure to check it out.)

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​Last year, the stars aligned to make good things happen with my writing and photography. Now, looking forward to the publication of my memoir, Mango Rash, later this year, I’m loving the idea of being a debut author at 70. Toward the end of last year, I also achieved my goal of hiking 50 miles of the North Country Trail, earning that coveted patch for the vest I wrote about in a previous post. This year, I’ve signed up to try for 100 miles (and another patch!), and though sub-zero temperatures and icy trails have set me back lately, I’ve at least made a start toward that goal. 

​Yet in spite of my undampened enthusiasm for projects and passions, this time of life does feel different in some ways from my earlier years, and I do feel the need to take time out for reflection, for putting things in context and looking back as well as forward.
​In that spirit, Ray and I have been looking through all my photo albums, in order. They start with photos from before I was born—ancestors, my parents’ early lives—and continue up to 2003, when we switched from film to digital and I got tired of sticking pictures on pages. 
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More than three-quarters of a century of photos and memories are contained in these albums
PictureMy love of the outdoors has been a theme through the years
​Though I’ve dipped into these albums from time to time over the years, I’ve never gone through them this way, one after another, in the span of a few weeks. Doing that now, I notice threads that run through the decades. One is my love of nature, from childhood romps in the woods to more recent treks on nearby trails. Another is appreciation of art, evident in snapshots from settings that range from tony sculpture gardens to funky street fairs. Travels—around Michigan and beyond, by motorcycle, RV, or other conveyance—are another theme.

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A recent walk in the woods (with new snowshoes Ray gave me for my birthday!)
​Most meaningful, though, are the faces that keep showing up, year after year, in different situations and places: the friends and family members with whom I’ve shared both celebrations and somber occasions. It's gratifying to realize how many of these people I'm still in touch with and have talked to or exchanged email with in the past week alone. Remembering the roles we’ve played—and continue to play—in one another’s lives gives me a deep sense of connection. 
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Some (but by no means all) of the faces that keep showing up in my photo albums
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​Within the pages of my photo albums, I also find reminders of the losses that come with a long life. So many faces in those photos belong to people who have passed from this life and whose presence I miss. At this time of life, the losses come closer together, and the bonds among those of us who remain grow stronger.

​When I embarked upon this photographic time trip, I didn’t give much thought to its significance. It was just one of those “someday, I’ll . . . ” things that I felt like doing now. Now, as I pore over pages, I realize what a profound experience it is to look back over a lifetime and contemplate what it's all been about. At a time when it sometimes seems things are falling apart, there's also a sense that everything's coming together. 
​As I anticipate the coming year—and years—it's with a keen awareness that there's really no way of knowing what may come, and no point in either worrying or fantasizing about what-ifs. 
​All I can say for now is, "So far, so good."
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Share your thoughts about the stage of life you're experiencing.
40 Comments
Rachel
2/20/2019 06:48:41 am

Happy Birthday Nancy!!! What a lovely post. I feel very lucky to have known you for some of your seventy years. This year I'll be closer to 50 than 40- your thoughts are a great reminder to make time for people and projects that matter-- what a short time we are here. I hope to move a little more slowly and thoughtfully through it.
love Rachel

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Nan
2/20/2019 08:25:51 am

What??? You mean you're not still 27? You always will be to me. I really appreciate your thoughts -- and your friendship, Rachel.

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Janet Glaser
2/20/2019 07:00:58 am

Happy happy birthday! I kind of gulped when I hit 70 too, but then again when I turned 30,I also gulped! I love this line--"At a time when it sometimes seems things are falling apart, there's also a sense that everything's coming together." So true. Love your darling photos of your kid pictures. Those albums are such a treasure. Reflecting on the past and looking forward to the future are the perfect gifts. So party hearty!!!

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Nan
2/20/2019 08:27:15 am

Funny, isn't it? I think 30 was a bigger deal than any of the milestones since then. I guess once you make it through one, you know you can make it through the rest.

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Larry Schulte
2/20/2019 08:55:12 am

I hit the big 70 six weeks ago -- and for the first time am gulping about age! Your are right, though, about looking forward at all that is happening. Published for the first time last year -- but only a poem, now published in three poetry anthologies. Who knew what new possibilities would be opening up. Thanks for your post!!

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Nan
2/20/2019 09:15:30 am

Wow, that's so exciting, Larry. You keep going in interesting, new directions. I want to hear more about the anthologies.

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laura
2/20/2019 10:04:54 am

Thank you for this great column and the photos -- I love the puppy!! I think age truly is just a number--almost everyone I know is happier at 50 than 30. Case in point -- just look at how somber you are in the first picture, as opposed to now.
HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS TO YOU!!! xoxoxox

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Nan
2/21/2019 06:53:38 am

That was a great doggie. As for the somber face, that was my usual do-I-have-to-get-my-hair-curled-and-wear-a-dress expression.

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Colleen Story link
2/20/2019 10:11:36 am

Happy birthday, Nan! Sounds like a great way to look back and look forward at the same time. Good luck on all the new projects. :O)

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Nan
2/21/2019 07:54:00 am

Thanks, Colleen. Your wisdom continues to inspire and motivate me.

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Sally Kane
2/20/2019 10:50:16 am

Happy, Blessed 70th Birthday, Nan! Welcome to the 70th decade and here's to celebrating all the creative endeavors. I hope we can be each other's muse for the 70's and beyond. Your blog reminded me that there is so much to affirm and be grateful for as one reflects on their life. You gleaned the threads that wove throughout. I enjoyed your childhood photos and the tribute to your friends.

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Nan
2/21/2019 07:54:47 am

Yes! Here's to mutual musing!

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Tonya H.
2/20/2019 12:11:43 pm

Happy birthday Nan! ♡

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Nan
2/21/2019 07:55:23 am

Thanks, Tonya. Good to see you back here!

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Gloria Switzer
2/20/2019 12:37:37 pm

Happy Birthday, Nan. As always, I loved your birthday blog and your reflection of this grand achievement as well as the pictures.
Welcome to the "Wonder Years".... we wonder how in the heck we got here so fast! Love & Peace, gloria

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Cindi Mc
2/20/2019 03:04:46 pm

When we talked a few hours ago, I had not read your blog for today. What a great way to reflect upon your past. Makes me regret that all my photo albums are still packed in boxes in two different locations. I will soon join you in welcoming the next decade. My 2018 was a most difficult year, but like you, I continue to look forward and love the direction my life is going.
I am blessed to be included in the pictures, but more blessed by our decades-long friendship.
Have the happiest birthday ever and may we celebrate many more!

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Nan
2/21/2019 07:57:05 am

Thank you, Cindi. Glad we're moving forward together in this endeavor.

Nan
2/21/2019 07:56:07 am

Ha! Good way to put it, Gloria. Thanks for reading.

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Laurel
2/20/2019 04:44:47 pm

Nancy - That looks like a Ginny doll next to the box of matches. I wonder, from seeing the look on your face, if you were thinking of setting her hair on fire! We are exhausted from celebrating your birthday all day today so will save further clever and/or congratulatory comments for another day, when we presume you will still be 70 (70???!!!!)

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Nan
2/21/2019 07:59:26 am

Oh, you know me too well, Laurel. That just may have been what I was thinking about.

I do seem to still be 70 today, so whenever you recover from celebrating, feel free to send entertaining comments my way.

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Diane K Sack
2/20/2019 04:47:58 pm

Blessings to you, Nan... always enjoy your posts! May this year bring you more joy than you can even imagine at this time! HUGS!

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Nan
2/21/2019 08:00:33 am

Thank you much, Diane. I'm so glad to know you.

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Susan Stec
2/20/2019 08:29:46 pm

Happy 70th. I’m right behind you. Damn, I don’t feel that old.
❤️WTH

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Nan
2/21/2019 08:01:06 am

You'll never be old, Susan! Hope things are going OK for you.

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Kitty Kole
2/21/2019 04:47:03 am

Wow!!! Thanks to the Croton Libary I met you. And now honored to be your friend. I love the saying just when things are falling apart we are getting it together! I admire both you and Ray and look forward to the things you do in the future. The best of birthday wishes to you Nancy ❤️❤️😺

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Nan
2/21/2019 08:01:53 am

Hooray for Croton Library and great friends like you, Kitty! Thanks for the birthday wishes.

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Mary Ellen Darnell
2/21/2019 05:04:02 am

Nan,

I too had a birthday in February....69! I'm having the same reaction! How can it be? Family, dear friends, my connection with children, nature, water in all its amazing forms and my beloved dogs.....posts from your blog, they all keep me floating!

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Nan
2/21/2019 08:02:32 am

Lovely thoughts, Mary Ellen. Belated Happy Birthday to you!

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Joe Grimm
2/21/2019 08:30:21 am

Thanks for sharing your perspectives about Life and All That, Nancy. I am glad Facebook dropped it on me on a day when I was looking there. You ARE in (another) creative streak! Keep going!
Joe

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Nan
2/27/2019 07:25:21 am

Thanks, Joe. You're doing pretty doggone well these days, too. Maybe we should put together a Faygo/Fanta tour.

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Michelle
2/21/2019 12:50:27 pm

Hey, Nancy. Happy birthday! I also am hitting 70 this year, and both looking back and looking forward. It's cool your book is coming out i this "big" year.... I always enjoy your writing and photos.

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Nan
2/27/2019 07:26:23 am

Thanks, Michelle. You're going to rock the 70s, too, as you've rocked the 60s. Keep it up!

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Valerie Deur
2/21/2019 06:19:11 pm

welcome to the seventh decade of living. I am so glad to have crossed your path and get to spend time with you nearly every week. best wishes for a sensational seventith year of living!

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Nan
2/27/2019 07:27:05 am

Thanks, Valerie. I'm so glad we're spending this decade in each other's company.

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Katherine Myers
3/1/2019 07:19:58 pm

I enjoyed this post so much and wish you could join some of the '67 girls meeting up for lunch this month. I hope I can make it! I never in a million years thought I'd be as busy as I am with two little grandsons, but those hugs make up for all the retirement projects that will never be done! I have the fleece and the spinning wheel, but no time for practice...This cold dreary winter has been hard and I think I'm beginning to feel my age. But bring on spring and sunshine and I'll be back in the gardens.

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Nan
3/6/2019 08:21:01 am

Wish I could join that group, too, Kay. Sending my love to all.

I think you have your priorities straight re: retirement activities.

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Katherine Myers
3/1/2019 07:22:38 pm

I just flashed back to a party at your house and Lesley Gore was singing the song in your blog title!

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Nan
3/6/2019 08:27:24 am

What a memory! But I think I remember that party, too.

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Sue Schneider
3/3/2019 05:54:24 pm

Happy birthday Nan! I’m so glad you chose to celebrate part of it with us! I will join you this year in the 7th decade of life. What a wonderful adventure we are on, living in a fantastic place to be in nature every day!

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Nan
3/6/2019 08:28:10 am

Thank you, Sue! We are all blessed, indeed.

Reply



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    Nan Sanders Pokerwinski, a former journalist, writes memoir and personal essays, makes collages and likes to play outside. She lives in West Michigan with her husband, Ray.

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