NAN SANDERS POKERWINSKI
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HeartWood
A blog about cultivating
creativity, connection and contentment
wherever you are

Classy Mates

10/11/2017

19 Comments

 
​We're back from our travels, and do I have a lot to tell you! In coming weeks, I'll share stories of people, places and experiences on the road, as well as some closer to home.
PictureFifty years since graduation: Cause for celebration!

​​First stop: Stillwater, Oklahoma, my home town, where we attended my graduating class's 50-year (!!!) reunion. I reconnected with friends I hadn't seen since high school and strengthened ties with those I've stayed in touch with. 

​Every time I meet up with these schoolmates, I feel comforted by our shared past. Many of us have known each other since kindergarten or first grade. We lived within blocks of one another, knew each other's parents, siblings and pets, played countless backyard baseball games and croquet matches, and giggled through many a sleep-over. Other longtime friends I came to know through church groups, scout troops and other clubs, where we learned values that shaped us into the grown-ups we became. 
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Classmates at the reunion
PictureBill, Olive Ann and Coyle reminisce over old pictures
​At the reunion, my school friends and I pored over old pictures, remembering carefree days, favorite teachers and a few who were definitely not our favorites. That was fun, but I got just as big a kick out of finding out what my classmates are doing in this current phase of our lives.

​Many, I was delighted to learn, are using the freedom of retirement to explore their creative sides. 
​Terry, who retired from the florist business a few years ago, now applies his artistic talents to stained glass. His wife Robin stitches stunning quilts. The couple hosted one of the informal open houses that are my favorite events during our reunions, and Robin showed us the sunny studio they recently added onto their home. That's where Robin's quilting group gathers and Terry does his glass work (probably not at the same time, I'm guessing).
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Former florist Terry now applies his talents to stained glass. (Photo: Stillwater News Press)
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Two of Terry's creations on a sunny windowsill in the studio he shares with Robin
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Robin fashions beautiful quilts
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Robin quilted this likeness of their home, complete with intricate flowers
​At another open house hosted by Keith and Holly, Keith told us he spends his time these days "fixing things and making things." When we asked what kind of things he makes, he took us to his workshop and showed us the wood and metal creations he's working on, as well as a few finished pieces. A former CPA, Keith always yearned to work with his hands. Now he's satisfying that desire, and from the way his face lit up when he showed us his projects, it was clear how much pleasure they've giving him. 
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Keith with a piece of cedar he plans to use in a new project
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One of Keith's creations graces the deck where we gathered during the open house that he and Holly hosted
​Kay, a former school library media specialist, spends many hours tending to her flowers at Lily Hill, a 13-acre spread north of Claremore, Oklahoma. Somehow she also finds time to make lovely things, like the striped socks she knitted for me. The colors are inspired by the peacocks that roam around Lily Hill, and the package she surprised me with was decorated with a few of their feathers. Those colors just happen to be my favorites, and the socks were a perfect fit.
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Kay tends flowers and makes lovely things . . .
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. . . like these socks!
​Cindi, a longtime dear friend, insists she's not creative. Yet her talent for nurturing friendship takes just as much energy and attention as making physical things. Over the years, we've diverged in many ways, but Cindi's steadfast allegiance has kept us close, and for that I'm eternally grateful.
Picture
With Cindi in Stillwater
​Which brings me to another thing I want to share about my classy classmates, another thing for which I'll always be grateful. 
PictureWith Cindi at graduation from Stillwater High School. (The wind inflated our gowns -- we really weren't that big!)
​
​Our last year of high school was a challenging one for me. I wasn't even supposed to be in Oklahoma, attending Stillwater High School. A year earlier, my parents and I had moved to American Samoa, where we planned to live for two years (that's a whole other story, and trust me, the memoir will be published someday). I was supposed to graduate from Samoana High School and then return to the States for college.

PictureJust before my return to Oklahoma from Samoa
​

​My diagnosis with a life-threatening illness cut short our stay in Samoa, and we returned to Oklahoma at the beginning of my senior year. All of a sudden I was not only the girl who'd lived in a faraway place and returned with a weird accent and strange habits, I was also the girl with the scary disease.

​My classmates could easily have shunned me, not out of unkindness, but out of fear. I was a reminder that life was not all parties and pep rallies, that even our young lives could be in jeopardy. But not once did I feel anything but unconditional acceptance. My Stillwater friends sent me cards when I was in the hospital and welcomed me back when I was able to return to school.
​Looking back, I realize now just how much open-heartedness it took for them to treat me the way they did. Talking with some of my old friends at the reunion, I expressed my wonder at their compassion.
​"It never occurred to us to treat you any other way," one said. "We were just so glad to have you back."
​See what I mean about classy?
19 Comments
Cindi
10/11/2017 06:46:47 am

Nancy, thank you for your kind words. They made me tear up. We are proof that friendship trumps ( poor choice of
words? 😉 ) any philosophical differences we have. The reunion was so much fun. I find it interesting and pleasantly refreshing that the social groups no longer exist at the reunions.
As always, time with you and Ray was the best!

Reply
Nan
10/14/2017 09:16:03 am

Agreed -- it's nice to be past the clique stage and to focus on what we have in common instead of our differences.

Loved the time with you, too. Not enough of it, though!

Reply
Sally Pobojewski
10/11/2017 08:51:45 am

This one is your best yet! I realize I keep saying that, but it's true!
I admire how you share your gifts of writing and photography with so many people.

Reply
Katherine Myers
10/11/2017 11:01:37 am

I look forward to Wednesdays!!

Reply
Nan
10/14/2017 09:06:48 am

I appreciate your comments, Sally. Keep reading!

Reply
George
10/11/2017 09:08:56 am

Your comment about maintaining friendships as an art is certainly true. We have a mutual friend who is a master.

Reply
Nan
10/14/2017 09:07:23 am

So true!

Reply
Beth Fenimore Atess
10/11/2017 10:09:42 am

I loved reading your blog and looking at pictures! I recognized so many faces even after all these years. Thanks for posting!

Reply
Nan
10/14/2017 09:08:19 am

Thanks, Beth. It would be fun to have a multi-class reunion someday -- there are so many people from the classes ahead and behind ours that I'd love to see.

Reply
Katherine Myers
10/11/2017 11:01:03 am

Keith told me he was interested in DIY, but I didn't get to see his workshop! Wasn't Robin and Terry's craft room fabulous? I loved visiting with friends and only wish there had been more time to sit and really talk to others. Thanks for sharing your impressions of that wonderful weekend. And glad the socks fit!

Reply
Nan
10/14/2017 09:09:16 am

I know -- I would've liked about two more days just for conversation. It all went too fast. I still can't believe I totally missed Jean Bowles.

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Sue S.
10/12/2017 05:37:23 pm

What a wonderful reunion! That’s very special to keep in touch with friends for that many years. A treasure of memories, and you are still creating fun time. Congrats!

Reply
Nan
10/14/2017 09:10:34 am

Thanks, Sue. It's a special bunch of people, for sure.

Reply
Nita
10/13/2017 01:25:30 pm

I love your observations on life, Nan!

Reply
Nan
10/14/2017 09:11:22 am

Thanks, Nita. It gets more interesting to observe as the years go on!

Reply
Kathy link
10/20/2017 07:09:34 am

I certainly did not have those really close connections in highschool. I found my connections later in life. Nice read Nan.

Reply
Nan
10/23/2017 11:37:40 am

I feel fortunate to have held onto at least a few friendships from everywhere I've lived and every phase of my life. And I feel fortunate to still be making meaningful friendships in this phase of life.

Reply
VALerie deur
12/13/2017 03:30:28 pm

This was a lovely post. it even brought tears to my eyes..

Reply
Nan
12/14/2017 06:39:43 am

Thanks, Valerie. Your comment prompted me to re-read the post -- and to feel ever more grateful.

Reply



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    Nan Sanders Pokerwinski, a former journalist, writes memoir and personal essays, makes collages and likes to play outside. She lives in West Michigan with her husband, Ray.

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